A few days ago I got a call at 3am from my sister in law telling me my brother just had a heart attack. I have an instinctive response to pick up the phone when it rings in the middle of the night. Not always a good idea because there are a few out there who make calls in the middle of the night out of a dis-ease of the mind. But it is precisely for reasons like this that I pick up. I want to be there when someone calls because they need to.
My brother is in a hospital in another part of the planet, a place I’ve never been to and up to now didn’t really have any burning desire to visit. He is there with his wife. They have some new found friends, but no family. I am thinking it might be nice if they had some access to family at this time. So I’m thinking of going. Before this, I was dreaming of a quiet holiday season, tucked away in my little apartment, tending my sunflower sprouts and stinging nettles in between walks in my neighborhood. I don’t like to run around much during the holidays. I specially like to be home when the new year starts. It is just a good way for me to declare that I’m in the right place when the new year announces itself. There is a comforting thought in that for me.
But I’m imagining my brother needs me. Oh, he’ll manage without me showing up there. He’s still alive and will be out of the hospital soon. His wife, although exhausted from the ordeal of having to deal with doctors, hospitals and a foreign language to boot will manage too. They always have. So I could easily opt for the comforts of my home and offer support from afar.
Nah. I think the thing to do is to forgo my comforts and find time to make someone else as comfortable as possible under their difficult circumstances. After all, isn’t this the spirit of giving? What better way to give than to offer a shoulder to lean on, an extra pair of hands to do the daily chores, an extra mind to offer perspective.
I guess I’m off to China for the holidays!
