Social Networking on the Web

A couple of days ago, I was invited to test a beta version of a customized social networking community on the web. I agreed to check it out albeit somewhat apprehensively because … well, my hermit-like lifestyle could go out the door. But because I have participated in this community in some other capacity, I said OK. Besides, it’s in beta. How bad could it be?

As I created my profile, I dutifully answered the questions posed before me (Big mistake No. 1!). I could feel my insides churn as I submitted the information for ‘membership.’ Sure enough, when I clicked on my profile, it is there for the world to see. Holy Molly! Did I have a mini-freak out! First thing I did was look for the word ‘edit.’ I deleted some things I could, but some personal stuff are still there. Thankfully, when I uploaded a photo, it comes out black! I was thinking the universe out there is looking out after me. But of course when you click on the black frame, you will see my face.

Sigh.

Path to Freedom

This family inspired me to grow my own wheatgrass, sunflower sprouts, stinging nettles and a few herbs INSIDE my very small apartment! So yes, I’m growing some of my own food, supplemented by trips to the local farmers’ markets.

Mark Morford’s Wednesday Rant: Hello, Poetic Justice!

(A friend of mine sent this to me)

 

Hello Poetic Justice: OJ goes to prison, CEO’s beg and mope, Hummers are STD’s, where are we?

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist, Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Baby, you gotta take it all in.

Firstly, the dark side. Plethoric and astounding are the horrors and miseries, twists and swings of a brutal recession, a nation in fiscal calamity. Job losses in the millions. Highest unemployment rate since the Plague. Retail in a tailspin. Retirement accounts gutted, portfolios evaporated, housing bubble now just a sad little puddle on the floor of your gleaming Formica dreams.

And then, the scenes. Shell-shocked stockbrokers holding their faces in their hands, choking back screams, like Edvard Munch with big holdings in Washington Mutual. GM stock as valuable as an old pack of gum. Desperate shoppers stomping each other to death at Black Friday sales to save eight bucks on a 29-dollar DVD player that will break roughly four minutes into the third time it plays that “Fred Claus” DVD bought for two bucks at the dollar store. Fun for the whole family.

The Spirit of Giving

A few days ago I got a call at 3am from my sister in law telling me my brother just had a heart attack.  I have an instinctive response to pick up the phone when it rings in the middle of the night. Not always a good idea because there are a few out there who make calls in the middle of the night out of a dis-ease of the mind.  But it is precisely for reasons like this that I pick up.  I want to be there when someone calls because they need to.

My brother is in a hospital in another part of the planet, a place I’ve never been to and up to now didn’t really have any burning desire to visit. He is there with his wife. They have some new found friends, but no family. I am thinking it might be nice if they had some access to family at this time. So I’m thinking of going. Before this, I was dreaming of a quiet holiday season, tucked away in my little apartment, tending my sunflower sprouts and stinging nettles in between walks in my neighborhood. I don’t like to run around much during the holidays. I specially like to be home when the new year starts. It is just a good way for me to declare that I’m in the right place when the new year announces itself. There is a comforting thought in that for me.

But I’m imagining my brother needs me. Oh, he’ll manage without me showing up there. He’s still alive and will be out of the hospital soon. His wife, although exhausted from the ordeal of having to deal with doctors, hospitals and a foreign language to boot will manage too.  They always have.  So I could easily opt for the comforts of my home and offer support from afar.  

Nah. I think the thing to do is to forgo my comforts and find time to make someone else as comfortable as possible under their difficult circumstances. After all, isn’t this the spirit of giving?  What better way to give than to offer a shoulder to lean on, an extra pair of hands to do the daily chores, an extra mind to offer perspective.  

I guess I’m off to China for the holidays!

Happy Daily Thanksgiving!

I wrote a list of things I am thankful for and then got sidetracked by life. My son needed tending these past few days and so I went. He’s a grown man, married and has a life of his own, but mothers will always be mothers so while his wife was at work I made sure he had something to eat and taking care of himself – this in between trips to the farmers’ market and meditation class, taking my car in for service and walking in the rain. Busy past few days and for some reason, all was OK. Even the $647+ I paid for the installation of four new tires on my car and the news that I’m looking at another $1000 for a couple of worn out car parts did not make a dent out of that feeling of well being. For some reason, there is a sense of OKness in life right now.  For that I am grateful.

This morning I gave my son and his wife a ride to the train station. They were on their way to visit her family for Thanksgiving. They are a lot more relaxed about getting ready and being at the airport in time for their flight. On the other hand, I tend to pack days ahead and will be at the airport hours before my flight. Anticipatory anxiety I guess. The amazing thing is: they always make it. OK, sometimes just barely make it, but they do. So I could just chill.

So now am back in my apartment. Just had my breakfast. Am in front of my computer. Responded to emails; watched a few clips of Charice singing Because You Loved me at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Good to see she didn’t freeze. Didn’t like it that they cut off her song with a commercial break, but I guess they’re on a tight schedule. Everything has to be orchestrated on cue.  I noticed she wasn’t waving to the crowds like everybody was. I imagine she was getting ready for her song. I was chuckling imagining that she probably would have enjoyed being a spectator instead of riding on that float!

An earlier video of the Good Housekeeping float showed Charice waving to the crowd.  Ahh, she was into it. Glad to see.  Although I think this parade is a bit of a spectacle that tend to drive me running for the other direction (prefer quiet places), still, it’s good to see people enjoying it. And if you’re going to be in it, might as well have fun!

I like the fact that I get to celebrate Thanksgiving Day in quiet. I hope my children and their families are having fun appreciating the day. To me, gratitude is appreciating one’s life – whatever the circumstances may be. Life is a gift! To fully appreciate one’s life is to celebrate each day in gratitude. Thanksgiving is not just one day out of 365. It is a way of life!

Have a Happy Daily Thanksgiving to all!

On Being Fearless …

I just got back from a weekend meditation retreat. Yesterday I heard my teacher talk about fearlessness. I’ve used the word ‘fearless’ to refer to people I know who bravely venture forth into life undaunted by what lies ahead. Of course, my view implies that the fearless person knows no fear, has no fear.  It implies the person (subject) viewing something in the world (object) as possible trigger/or not  - of the fearful response. But fearlessness is not quite like that. Fearlessness is welcoming of EVERYTHING. It holds a fundamental view of even-handed welcome to EVERYTHING that comes one’s way, including fear itself.  

A fearless person is not afraid of being afraid; he/she could be extremely afraid of whatever, but is not unseated by said fear. A fearless person IS fundamentally OK amidst ANY circumstance really.

As I sat listening to my teacher, a thought crossed my awareness:  ”Wow. A life unshackled!”

On ‘Healthy’ Juices …

I just made some juice out of kale and wheatgrass. I must admit it is NOT appealing at all! I’m sure it’s good for you, but I can’t drink it.  In the first place, a little wheatgrass just goes through my head. Even a teaspoon of pure wheatgrass does that to me. I mostly use it to help my eyes rest (by applying the juice directly on my closed eyes – very soothing!)  Or I use it to ease achy parts of my body. Or help rough, dry hands, skin heal faster.  It works for me!  Really.  But drinking wheatgrass juice is another story. I can take it when juiced with celery or apples or carrots. Pure wheatgrass I cannot take.  

I do not recommend wheatgrass and kale either.

Letting go …

A friend called me yesterday and asked, if you were in my shoes, what would you do? The question had to do with her daughter who is flunking from school. The daughter is smart and there is no reason she should be flunking all her classes. They’ve tried private school, counseling, tutoring, strict rules, lax rules and nothing. The girl does her homework when pressed, but doesn’t submit the required work. So, of course, the teacher has no recourse but to flunk her.  So she asks, what would you do if you were in my shoes?

This is hard. Heaven knows I’ve made my share of decisions which, in retrospect, I’m not entirely certain were correct.  But this much I knew then and know now: I did the best I could. Under the circumstances, I made my choices based on what I could live with. And in that sense, the decisions were correct. On the whole, my children and I are friends, but we certainly have had, and continue to have, our differences. One thing I’m still learning is how to let go.

As a parent – and I think this is shared by parents everywhere in varying degrees! – I want what’s best for my children.  My view of what’s best is of course framed by MY ideas of what’s good for humans, in general, and for my children, in particular. And furthermore, this view is driven by what I wish they’d have in their lives.  In my case, I’ve always wanted for my children to be healthy and happy. Why not wealth, you ask? Well, in my view, if you are healthy, happiness comes easier and money is no sweat because you are able.

Given that as a backdrop, the likely things I’d comment on or try to sway them towards would include things like:

• What they put in their mouths
• What came out of their mouths
• How they related to the world
• How they take care of themselves
• How they take care of each other
• How narrow or expansive their view of the world

That covers just about everything, doesn’t it?  :) So I can only imagine what went through their heads as I steered them towards my idea of healthful living!

The fact is, your child is not your child. Not really. At best, they teach you how to be a parent. They do that by forcing you to face what’s important to you and help you be true to yourself. So if this child is headed towards flunking school, at some point, you’ll have to let her. AND you’ll have to do it in YOUR terms.  What do I mean by that?  Well, if you’ve tried everything you know to help, then perhaps the next option is to back off.  But this time, no private schools, no tutoring, none of the sort. Only the rules of the house apply.  You allow time for homework. And permission for the next activity (TV?) is granted once the homework is done. No fighting about it. Just apply the rule. And if she does the homework, but doesn’t submit it, you cannot do it for her. So let it be. Flunking is not the end of the world.  All you can do is be there when she needs you.

Cool Thanksgiving: Will you join me?

Cool Foods Campaign works with the Center for Food Safety in helping us identify ways we can reduce our carbon imprint on the planet by making food choices grown with sustainable practices AND thus much much healthier for you!  So here’s an email I got from the site recently.  Thanks for reading!

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Getting Back to our Roots: What makes a Cool Thanksgiving, 

Thanksgiving is fast approaching. As you plan your Thanksgiving menu, the Cool Foods Campaign wants to help you have the “coolest” celebration possible!

The holidays come and go in a blur as we struggle to provide the best of everything for our friends and families. Despite our desires for extravagance, we’re all feeling the effects of an economic recession. In addition, news continues to highlight the pressing need to address global warming. To lower our impact on the environment AND watch our budgets, the answers lie in simplicity. Today, more than ever, it’s important to get back to our roots and remember why we celebrate seasonal holidays like Thanksgiving in the first place.

Take a moment to recall why America celebrates Thanksgiving: the holiday is a remembrance of the early settlers’ ingenuity and perseverance in tough times, as well as a reminder of the significance of family. The same can be said for other traditional holidays this time of the year, as Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanza each offer a time to be thankful for what we have. These are all important themes to reflect upon now. Take this opportunity to celebrate as those pioneers did: with the local foods and flavors in your region. You’ll be keeping your dollars local (while spending less at farmers markets), supporting seasonal and small-scale agriculture, and enjoying the amazing (and natural) gifts available in your own backyard!

Our site is full of tips, recipes and information that will help you make this year’s Thanksgiving greener and cooler than ever! Our brief history section discusses the first Thanksgiving and the types of foods that might have been present, as well as the background on how Thanksgiving became a national holiday. Follow our “Ten Thanksgiving Tips” to celebrate the coolest holiday possible. Our “Greening Your Thanksgiving” section will help keep a little extra cash in your pocket. And our recipe sectionfeatures a few signature seasonal dishes from renowned chef Dan Barber of Blue Hill at Stone Barnsin New York and Nora Pouillon of Restaurant Nora— both proud Cool Foods Pledge signers.

Life in the Woods

My Dream Cottage

I’ve always wanted a cottage in the woods ever since I can remember. I grew up in the rain forests of the Philippines and it was paradise to me. The only other dwelling on the 40 hectares of land my family owned was half a mile away where a family who worked for my parents lived. We traveled to the place via motorboat and it took us a day to get there. The meandering river to our place was filled with crocodiles, the trails to, in and around our house were shared by snakes of various kinds. I can distinctly remember a huge snake curled up on the path I was on. I stopped, said hello, asked permission to pass, told it to stay put and I tip-toed around it to pass. The snake never budged! I was smiling as I tip-toed around it!

There was a brook nearby, with a canopy of trees on each side surrounding the cool waters below. My siblings and I arranged some dead logs around a deeper section of the brook (stream?) and designated the area as our bathing place. I loved wading in the shallow waters of that stream where I used my skirt to scoop up fresh shrimps and such. I never kept them. I let them go as soon as I said hello.

My other favorite area in that rain forest was an elevated section of the land. You could say it’s a little hill maybe. I would run up to the top and talk to the birds. I never even considered that the birds may not understand what I was saying! To me, they did. And when they flew down and perched on my outstretched arms, that was confirmation enough for me that they understood. There was a tree up that little hill. I climbed that tree every day. I’d take my naps there. There was never any worry of falling off. I felt as if the tree cradled me in its branches and trusted implicitly that I was safe. I always said hello to the tree when I got up there and said goodbye when I left. To this day, I still talk to the trees when I go for walks in the woods. Except this time, I kind of look around if there’s someone nearby so they wouldn’t cart me off to the nearest mental health institution!

As we got older, our family moved into the next town where there were schools for us to attend. When we outgrew the place, we moved to the next town to continue our education. Availability of schools pretty much dictated where we lived. Each time we moved to more populous areas, I mourned my paradise in the woods.

Now I live in urban America. I’ve spent most of my life in this part of the ‘woods.’ I have a different forest to deal with now. And the variety of ‘wildlife’ is of a more complex variety. Plants and animals are much simpler than people!

The circumstances of my life has kept me in this neighborhood of buildings (instead of trees), cars and people instead of river boats, crocodiles, snakes, birds, bats and monkeys, to name a few. Every so often, I think of my ‘dream’ cottage in the woods. How wonderful it would be to live where nature dwells and talks to you. Lately, I’m beginning to think I can still have that cottage in the woods.

It’s time to let that cottage find me.